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God hates barbecues. And of course, hobos.
Sunday I went to the Walmart here because I needed to pick up cleaning supplies for the house. Now, I LOATHE Walmart with the white-hot passion of a thousand burning suns, and not because they’re so...
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Haute Coiffure.
J: “I’ll be over there after I get my hair cut.” Me: “No, come here first, I’ll cut your hair!” J: “What? You can cut hair?” Me: “Sure can.” J: “Whose hair have you cut?” Me: “Thelma’s.” J: “Your cat....
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My life is so much better since quitting my job and moving. But this hasn’t...
You know what moving closer to the coast brought? BUGS. Not only bugs, but BIGGER BUGS. That’s right, GIGANTIC PALMETTO BUGS. Huge flying cockroaches. Larger and MEANER than the ones I left behind in...
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Bitch and Moan Week Continues.
I’m sleeping better than I have in over ten years. No more insomnia, no more waking in the middle of the night screaming from night terrors, dreaming about having to go back to work the next day with...
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Sometimes I forget that there are people out there who hate to see recipes...
I made this today and J was all “OH MY GOD this is so delicious! And you’re so beautiful and wonderful and smart.” Okay, I just threw in that beautiful and wonderful and smart part, but that doesn’t...
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The Horror Witnessed: The iPhone Pictorial Story of Tinks the Cat Spotting...
I had forgotten until now that I had taken these pictures of Tinks right after I moved in. When I took them I didn’t realize what Tinks saw out the window until after he flew off the bar counter and I...
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This entry has everything. An update, dead bodies, flower pictures, and a...
I haven’t completely ignored this site, I’m still posting ‘Links To Enjoy’ over there on the sidebar almost daily, it’s just my days are flying by so fast that I haven’t had time to actually sit down...
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If you follow me on Facebook you already know about the fantastic potato...
Of all the Food Network chefs, Ina Garten is my favorite. I like that she’s chubby, that her husband is always gone but will fly in and land on their heli-pad for a meal, and that she has a shitload of...
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No time…there’s turtles to be saved.
Take a good look at that pool. Today is the last day it will look like that. They’re finally coming today to pump it out and clean it and fix it and fill it. I don’t know how much will get done today,...
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At this rate I will have to join the Polar Bear Club in order to enjoy my...
Yeah, I know I promised pool cleaning photos and yeah, I know you expected them days and days ago. But if you’ve been reading this blog for even a little while, you’ve realized by now that it’s full of...
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Inflation.
It took me three days to blow that motherfucking pool float up that much. I think I passed out four times from either hyperventilating or from the toxic fumes of the plastic. I think I burst a vein in...
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Guess what I’ll be doing this hot and muggy weekend?
The pool will still need to be emptied and resurfaced, but for now it’s swimmable and free of snapping turtles. Here’s the before and after. Pool before "The Great Pool Empty and Clean 2013." Pool...
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Sundays are for pissing off Food Pic Haters and nursing a third-degree sunburn.
That’s right, in all my excitement to get into the pool yesterday I literally cooked my lily-white-alabaster-Irish skin medium rare. I used 50 SPF, water-proof sunblock and reapplied it every hour on...
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My pets are weird.
My crazy fool dog Jack and I were over at J’s one day last week and I had to go somewhere, I forget where. Since it was 10,000 degrees outside I didn’t want to take Jack with me knowing he’d have to...
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Let’s see what magical adventure the weekend brought me…
I bought a pressure washer because everything in this place needs pressure washing because no one ever gave a shit and it sat empty and abandoned for several years. This morning I gave it a test run on...
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Things I Pulled Out of My Pool’s Skimmer Filter: Part 1
My weekend has been bubbling over with adventure and excitement. This morning I cleaned out my new (new to me anyway) pool’s skimmer filter. I may turn this into a series here on the blog. Don’t worry...
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Why do bad things keep happening to good people? And by bad things, I mean...
This morning I heard a splash like a plane had crash-landed in my pool. I ran outside to see if there were any survivors and saw what appeared to be a large bird, perhaps an eagle, struggling in the...
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About three weeks ago Jack started acting like his back hurt again and then quickly was having trouble standing. I swooped him up and took him to the local vet here and then thought “Umm, no, I’m sure...
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I’m really starting to believe my house was built on top of Hellmouth.
Sunday night I went to the back courtyard to get a pair of work gloves I had forgotten and left on a table. I live in constant fear of insects climbing into my gloves or shoes left outdoors and I...
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Tomatopalooza 2013.
Shortly after I moved here I bought a couple of tomato plants just for the hell of it even though it was pretty late to be planting. I put them in the garden area behind the pool and then basically...
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